Monday, September 9, 2013

You know how you have that friend, who you haven't talked to in forever, but think about all the time, but the longer you go without talking, the harder it is to pick up the phone?...that's me and my blog

I can't remember what exactly prompted my leap into the blogging world, and I certainly don't know what caused my indifferent abandonment of it, but I am trying to be more of a "doer" and less of a "talk/think about it  and never actually do it-er".  I have started running again, am getting much better at reading my Bible more consistently, have prayer cards and journals that haven't been completely thrown aside yet, am trying to make new friends at work, and really just live life.  Recently I was googling myself, am I the only self-centered person who does that?, and re-found my blog.  I kept trying to start it up again, but the more time passed, the more difficult it became.  How do I summarize the last 15+ months- especially when they have been some of the most challenging, and life changing months I've ever experienced.  Do I just pick up from here and warn: " You're joining the program already in progress' ( That's for you Agins and Joy) , or do I somehow fill the blogging world in on everything that's gone down? .

I started looking back at some of my blogs, which is sort of like looking through an old photo album or home videos, and it's kind of strange.  Ok, dirty secret time: I -love-reality-TV.  I am not exaggerating when I say that I had an entire summer one year devoted to the Kardashians... I hope you all don't judge me too harshly.  Now it is more like Duck Dynasty or Top Chef types, which makes me feel less ashamed...maybe.  Anyways, I always felt a bit envious that they have their lives on film.  Whether it is to help settle a spat between spouses ( who actually said what and when) or just to see yourself from a new perspective. Maybe even more important would be to see change and growth.  I feel like sometimes I am a raft drifting at sea, where in the day by day moments I feel hardly any movement at all, until one day I look up and see I am miles from shore. ( Which can either be a good, or not so good thing)   Reading my old blogs kind of helped me see a snapshot of my life ( well at least the summer/fall of 2011)  All of this is to say, I like my photo story telling blogs,  but was more struck my by earlier blogs that were just my thoughts on a page. Honestly I can look at my pictures on facebook or instrgram or whatever to remember the amazing things I have done, but I don't often get to revisit the actual thoughts or feelings I had when I was doing them.  I am becoming less interested in the places I go and more in interested in why I go there, and who I go with, and how it affected me.  Unfortunately, that might make it a little more boring to the like 5 people who read this, but I think years from now, I will appreciate those more.   Now of course, some things deserve pictures and shout outs(ahem, Alaska), but I think I am steering this more int he direction of how I, Erin Krafft, am trying to live life.  Specifically, live a life "worth of the calling to which I have been called" ( Ephesians 4:1). Wish me luck, dear friends..

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