The reason behind my madness....

So, a little over a month later I am back.  Apparently my newly rekindled love for blogging had a short shelf life.  So we try again.  I recently joined a group of teachers at my school to be part of a leadership team that helps learn and teach new strategies to our campus.  I think it will overall be a good experience although it has taken a bit more time then I first had anticipated.  Anyways, the point is that we had our first meeting last week and we were presented with three questions:
1) Why are we in this line of work?
2) Why do you do what you do everyday?
3) What does success in this job look like?
First of all, I had a hard time distinguishing between the first two questions, but even aside from that I had a hard time answering them.

At first, I started in with all the cliches... I want to make a difference, I love kids and all that jazz, but honestly it has to go deeper than that because this job is rough and not the most profitable for the amount of time spent, but yet I come back every year.  I was only given a few minutes to think about it, but even if I had more time, I think my answer would be the same.  My ultimate goal in life is to share God's love with others and glorify Him.  I am not sure exactly how I ended up teaching, but now that I am here that is what motivates me everyday.  I am really glad I was able to remember that because it is so easy to get bogged down by other goals teachers hold dear - getting the best data, making money, controlling your classroom etc.  But the main thing I should focus on is loving these kids and helping them become the best people they can by the end of this year.   Day to day my goal is to teach them math, but not just so my data looks good, but so that they can learn and grow and be more successful.  I really do think that I become better and better at my job every year, but I still think I forget the most important part sometimes.  Loving these kids and guiding them to be their best selves. Ok, that all I got.  Just a reminder for myself. Hopefully I can see this later when my focus shifts, but thankfully I also have lovely friends who can call me out if needed.  So friends,  as always, please call me out when I get lost.  As always, I appreciate it and appreciate you.  Krafft out:)

You know how you have that friend, who you haven't talked to in forever, but think about all the time, but the longer you go without talking, the harder it is to pick up the phone?...that's me and my blog

I can't remember what exactly prompted my leap into the blogging world, and I certainly don't know what caused my indifferent abandonment of it, but I am trying to be more of a "doer" and less of a "talk/think about it  and never actually do it-er".  I have started running again, am getting much better at reading my Bible more consistently, have prayer cards and journals that haven't been completely thrown aside yet, am trying to make new friends at work, and really just live life.  Recently I was googling myself, am I the only self-centered person who does that?, and re-found my blog.  I kept trying to start it up again, but the more time passed, the more difficult it became.  How do I summarize the last 15+ months- especially when they have been some of the most challenging, and life changing months I've ever experienced.  Do I just pick up from here and warn: " You're joining the program already in progress' ( That's for you Agins and Joy) , or do I somehow fill the blogging world in on everything that's gone down? .

I started looking back at some of my blogs, which is sort of like looking through an old photo album or home videos, and it's kind of strange.  Ok, dirty secret time: I -love-reality-TV.  I am not exaggerating when I say that I had an entire summer one year devoted to the Kardashians... I hope you all don't judge me too harshly.  Now it is more like Duck Dynasty or Top Chef types, which makes me feel less ashamed...maybe.  Anyways, I always felt a bit envious that they have their lives on film.  Whether it is to help settle a spat between spouses ( who actually said what and when) or just to see yourself from a new perspective. Maybe even more important would be to see change and growth.  I feel like sometimes I am a raft drifting at sea, where in the day by day moments I feel hardly any movement at all, until one day I look up and see I am miles from shore. ( Which can either be a good, or not so good thing)   Reading my old blogs kind of helped me see a snapshot of my life ( well at least the summer/fall of 2011)  All of this is to say, I like my photo story telling blogs,  but was more struck my by earlier blogs that were just my thoughts on a page. Honestly I can look at my pictures on facebook or instrgram or whatever to remember the amazing things I have done, but I don't often get to revisit the actual thoughts or feelings I had when I was doing them.  I am becoming less interested in the places I go and more in interested in why I go there, and who I go with, and how it affected me.  Unfortunately, that might make it a little more boring to the like 5 people who read this, but I think years from now, I will appreciate those more.   Now of course, some things deserve pictures and shout outs(ahem, Alaska), but I think I am steering this more int he direction of how I, Erin Krafft, am trying to live life.  Specifically, live a life "worth of the calling to which I have been called" ( Ephesians 4:1). Wish me luck, dear friends..